Candice's Bailout Proposal

Just when you think the Senate is going to send the Auto executives back to Detroit empty-handed, they just pull you back in.  I imagine some legislative aide, going on an hour of sleep and some coffee-Red Bull fusion drink, running out to the tarmac, waving the Big Three executives down as they board their private jets.

Since Congress is being so generous these days, I think it's a good time to suggest some other bailouts.  The American Auto Industry isn't the only one who needs a helping hand this year.  I can think of few other industries that could use a leg-up from the powers that be:

The Service Industry

They bring you your food, they make your drinks, they park your car.  They're the service industry and they've been working hard and deserve to be rewarded for their efforts.  This industry employs around 2.4 million people (well, it did in May 2007) and they make an average of about $16,000 a year.  They work long, physically demanding hours and have to deal with hungry, cranky, drunk people, and that's of course if they are lucky enough to have a job. A worsening economy will likely leave more Americans reconsidering a night out, or even their weekday lunch decisions.  Less people spending money at a restaurant means the restaurant loses money, forcing it to cut paychecks by cutting hours and staff.  I'm sure even the Auto Execs would agree with bailing this one out - they do need their Old Fashioneds after-all. 

The Retail Industry

They are the people trying to get you to buy, well, almost anything:  clothes, appliances, furniture, cars (people still buy cars?).  The retail industry is a tough sell in a recession.  You don't have any money, the restaurant you used to serve at went under, and you have many other necessities and financial obligations on the priority list ahead of a new sweater or television set.  So, because a lot of Americans are tightening their belts (is it a Bible Belt?), Retail suffers. So, sorry Retail.  You may employ 4.4 million people, but you're not worth the bailout. 

Grad Students

Sure, graduate students aren't an industry, but they are the dumbest people you will ever meet. Instead of pursuing something practical and recession-proof like healthcare services or education, they spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on degrees in fine arts and political science.  Sure, that thesis on the impacts of global warming on international law is interesting, but it's not gonna pay the rent.  It's only after accumulating $150,000 in debt and realizing they only went to law school to pursue the perfect cap to their liberal arts education, and not to be a lawyer, that they start to look for a practical job.  They, like the American Auto Industry, made some bad financial decisions.  They deserve a bailout too.

The Pet Care Industry

Actually, they are doing fine.  

Maybe its time for the Auto Industry to feel the true pinch of capitalism.  It hurts.

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Source of employment statistics:  U.S. Department of Labor, Labor Bureau Statistics, Occupational Employment Statistics.